20 Funny New Year’s Eve Quotes

1. Stop doom scrolling on Twitter
2. Only buy pants with no buttons or zippers.
3. Go vegan for 3 months and inevitably give up.
4. Sign up for a 2K marathon that I will not actually run.
5. Remember to make overnight oats the night before even though I know
         I won’t want to eat them in the morning.
6. Go on a vitamin and supplement shopping spree and finish at least one
         bottle before I give up.
7. Go outside. Among people.
8. Go viral on TikTok..
9. Turn all my high heel shoes into flats.
10. Share my New Year’s Eve champagne.

11. Do so much yoga that it actually justifies wearing yoga pants 24/7.
12. Read more (or at least turn the subtitles on while binge-watching TV).
13. Wake up before noon on the weekends.
14. Don’t text that toxic person back. You know the one. We all have one.
15. Eat more tacos.
16. Use more chapstick.
17. Floss every day — and not just with wild abandon in the week leading
            up to a cleaning.
18. Actually put on a full outfit for Zoom calls
         (although let’s be real, business-on-top-PJs-below never hurt
          anyone).
19. Get waxed again and without feeling obligated to make awkward
          small talk.
20. Stop making resolutions.