Be Happy & Healthy!

Friendship, Intimacy, Family, A Sense of Connection

Everyone will revisit this level throughout their life.  Friendships come and go, people move away.  Family members get sick.  Relocation can disrupt our sense of connection to community.

Many people try to skip ahead to this level. That is a big mistake.  We are human, and let’s face it, love and belonging, feel good.  Intimacy, love, marriage and cohabitation before you have succeeded at the first two levels can send you back to relearn Level 2. You will find yourself in a game of shoots and ladders, no one wants to end up at the age of 50 sliding down to start all over at level one. 

Are you lonely, newly, single, searching for a friend to have dinner with?  Has family disagreement caused estrangement? Are you angry, sad, or act out?  Is there a dispute at work (we spend more time with work family, than we do blood-relatives)?  Love and Belonging takes work, and is a key building block to the success we seek.

Women tend to skip over level two and head right to this level.  Even though we know it isn’t realistic, many still hope “prince charming” is out there. A sense of security and a partner to share life with provides happiness and joy.  In today’s society women have to do everything their male counter-part does and create life.  There can be no denying that there are physical, mental, and career set-backs that are difficult to recover from.  Pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children is very demanding on mind, body and spirit.  When women skip over level two and make the dangerous leap from parent's house to love and marriage the result can be detrimental. 

A real sense of  fear from never having lived alone can keep women in abusive relationships, lost in the grief of losing a mate, or picking up the pieces to start at level one again after a divorce. If the groundwork for a successful career path is not established at level two, women can find it daunting to reach the same level of workplace success as men. 

Friendship, Family, Connection are easy for some, yet, others need to work to keep people friends, and family close.

Men, on the other hand might skip level three and race right to the success and achievement level four.  They are taught to be providers.  Many mistakenly believe that they can circle back to find love after they have career success (think six figure salary). If the need to start a family is held off until later in life, the ability to be an active, caring parent and partner becomes difficult, if not impossible to have. 

Men that skip over level two and rush into a relationship, marriage and career straight from their parent's care, is dangerous. You will be unhappy and resentful later in life.  Especially with today's technology and constant access to temptation. These are the men with 2-3 marriages.  The 50-year old man may want to enjoy the single life that they were "denied", yet aren't comfortable being alone.

They constantly look for someone better (grass is always greener) and move from one marriage to directly into another.  

Friends and family can be different to everybody.  Friends and family can be found at work, people that you do hobbies with, neighbors, workout friends, life-long friends, internet friends, everyone has that Uncle Bob that isn’t really a blood relation.    Intimacy doesn’t have to mean love and sex, although it might.  Do you have a close intimate relationship that you can share and confide with another human being?  Do you feel a sense of connection or belonging?  It can be with one person, family, or a group of friends. Do you share a connection with co-workers, a group or club, even classmates?  Do you feel like you fit in in your neighborhood, community or with those that you see on a regular basis?

Today’s technical society and lack of face-to-face physical contact (social media, text, and email) can make this level difficult to surmount. It is important for me to point out that not everyone achieves all of levels in this pyramid.  Some will spend most of their life in the bottom three.   Setbacks like divorce, death, sickness, loss of a job will send you back down the pyramid to start again. 

This is a challenge, treat yourself even if you have not finished this level.   Then after you take a moment to regroup, get back in and strive to continue working the levels toward success. Not everyone can get past this level.  Remember that a healthy mind, and body are keys to surmounting each and every level.

Keep on striving for greatness, read on to discover the next level. Click on the link below.